Greetings, my dear readers and fellow writers!
I wanted to talk about a subject that has been plaguing me these past weeks, almost months, and that is,
I’m going to write a more in-depth post about this later on, but today, I wanted to tell you a bit about my current experience with procrastination.
About two months ago, I stopped writing my fantasy book. I felt like my worldbuilding wasn’t on the best level I knew it could be, thus, I decided to halt the writing and work on the world a bit more.
This idea developed into starting a new book, something shorter and something I could write in a few months. I wanted to release it, have another book under my name, and most importantly, gain experience.
I must be honest with you. Writing my own fantasy book has been my dream since I was under 10. It’s a big deal for me and because it has been such a big dream of mine, I fear to screw things up in a way that shatters my dreams.
I see this project as the final chest, which can only be unlocked after gaining the right amount of experience.
This doesn’t sound that bad, right? What could be wrong with writing a smaller project in order to gain experience?
Well, the problem is, I stopped that as well.
For years, I’ve studied the power of affirmations and sitting down to write in order to get into that flow state. I know the terrifying power of the resistance and procrastination, yet, I fell victim to it.
Fear is the keyword here. I’m afraid of screwing this up. Writing means so much to me that I fear to sit down and write the story. I avoid it the best I can. Whenever there is a silent moment which I could use to write, I figure out another task to hide in.
But even when I’m doing this, I’m still fully aware of what’s happening and it makes it all even worse.
I’ve felt powerless. I’ve even thought about stopping completely. That’s a thought that makes the very core of me tremble.
You might have noticed this from the lack of posts on my blog.
For that, I’m sorry.
This blog means the world to me. It’s a platform for me to express my thoughts, share my stories, and feel appreciated. I’m so thankful for all of you who read my texts and feel something within you. It’s all I’ve wanted from this and I’m more than happy.
But now, I’ve awakened from this slumber, this procrastinating hell, this mindset of fear. Today, for the first time in weeks, I woke up before 6 am, did my yoga routine, sat down to write, and ended up writing this.
I know what I have to do and I will do it. I will keep worldbuilding my world so it will be the best it can be, all the while I will keep writing my new book. I will read more books to fill my brain with vocabulary and as I do these things, I will write here, on my blog, so I can talk with you, my dear reader.
These are the plans and I feel so happy that I finally broke through the chains of fear.
I’ve also started my own Youtube channel. I post videos about different writing and art-related subjects, all the while I talk walks in the beautiful nature of Finland. New video is coming tomorrow, so if you’re interested, subscribe to my channel here: P.B. Linderg’s official Youtube Channel.
Once again, thank you for sticking with me all this way and I hope you’ll have a blessed day. See you next time, blessings upon you.
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